Devotion and ease
Inner worlds: Honouring self-devotion rather than discipline
I’m very close to my capacity this week. So instead of choosing something that needs loads of research, big thinking, and more output than I actually have to give I wanted to write about ease. Choosing ease over effort, and how that doesn’t mean doing less. If anything, it often means doing more, because when something feels easier, you’re more likely to do it.
When something feels possible, you show up to it more often. When something feels hard, you start avoiding it, even if you care about it deeply. I’ve learned that the version of me who pushes hardest is rarely the version of me who stays consistent. The version who chooses ease is the one who keeps going.
Ease, for me, is really about awareness of your own rhythm. Getting to know yourself and your body. That kind of self-knowledge isn’t measurable, but it’s one of the most rewarding forms of growth there is. Understanding why your energy shifts, and using that as information rather than something to criticise yourself for. Letting go of the pressure to push through just to stay in sync. Your worth has never been tied to ignoring your own rhythm. Honouring where you’re at is the same kind of respect you’d give someone you love.
I think it’s good to hold yourself to high standards and believe in what you’re capable of. But there’s a big difference between discipline and devotion.
Discipline can feel harsh. It often comes with fear, punishment, and the idea that if you don’t do something perfectly, you’ve failed. Devotion feels safer, it’s about meeting yourself where you are, doing what you said you’d do, but allowing yourself to adapt it to your capacity, which changes all the time.
It’s not about forcing yourself to show up in the exact same way every day but creating an inner safety where you follow through however you can. Even if that means taking a smaller step and knowing you’re still acting in favour of what you want.
If you’re someone with really high standards, or you notice yourself stuck in that cycle of discipline, slipping up, guilt, then more discipline, it probably doesn’t feel safe in your body. Doing the things you care about starts to feel pressurised, the joy drains out of them. You end up only allowing yourself to show up when you’re at full capacity, and that turns everything into perfection or nothing.
Devotion offers another way. It’s about believing in slow compounding. Showing up in the best way you can, consistently, without needing it to be perfect.
When you keep showing up for yourself in a way that feels kind instead of punishing you provide evidence to your brain that you follow through, building safety and trust in your self then things that used to seem really overwhelming and hard seem doable.
I’ve just finished Devotion by Patti Smith, she offers the same sentiment regarding her creative practice as something close to a spiritual discipline. She compares devotion to a water-well within you, explaining that expression comes from self discovery. A tending to a flame. Being deeply aware of your own needs and desires, inner impulses as it isn't possible to be fully devoted to anything if you aren’t first devoted to yourselves.
This week, choosing not to overextend is part of devotion. Showing up in a smaller way instead of disappearing altogether.
Favourite sources of inspiration this week:
Music: Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party, Hayley Williams’ album, on repeat. So good.
Also The Mocking Stars- LAUSSE THE CAT
Film: 20th Century Women, such an underrated film! It belongs in the same universe as Lady Bird, Aftersun and Beautiful boy but with a mother son perspective.
Green tea with honey.
Fable- Book tracking app, the gamification is absolutely working on me. I’m currently reading A Girl Is a Half-Formed Thing.
add me: https://fable.co/nina-224012552577?referralID=Mt998JfZma
